Twitter War: Me vs. Michael Ian Black!!! Even though Michael Ian Black has no idea who I am.

by andjustin4all

There’s only one way to measure exactly how amusing a person has become on an annual basis.  Compare tweets against State legend, personal hero and internet king, The Michael Ian Black during the greatest tweet fest of the tweet year: THE ACADEMY AWARDS.

It was touch and go to whether I’d even participate this year.  Sporting a 100 degree fever and the disdain of everyone on Facebook (to which I have cleverly linked my Twitter account basically quitripling my followers) I almost bowed out and then the NyQuil kicked in.

Lets go to the stats.

# of tweets (not including responses) MIB:47  JRT:46  SUNUVA! That doesn’t count. Its quality.

Now lets compare simular themed tweets.  That’s the real bone marrow.

It starts in hard and fast with 3 straight simular red carpet tweets.

I’m giving myself 2 points for noticing what an incredible ass RR has (check the film), out wording him on Clooney and tying on Bullock. MIB 0- JRT 2

Flirty Brian Glazer interview.  Where he tells the weird English chick to come back for “tequila”.  Of course, MIB could have been talking about the seat filler guy.  Damn it.  MIB 1- JRT 2 technicality.

Dropping a truth bomb and an ingenius idea that might actually work.  I mean seriously how good would the Guest troupe be as Oscar hosts?  He could even bring Billy back to do their old “I hate when that happens” SNL routine. Never a funnier use of ball pein hammer. MIB 2 – JRT 2

Recycled joke vs. Oh shit clever Ratner/gayjoke/cirque de soliel combo tweet.  Unbeatable.  MIB 2- JRT 3

eeeee, aaaaaa, ummmmm tie.  MIB 3- JRT 4

Now I had a clever little row going with the humorous thoughts of Gore Verbinski but I really shat the bed on taking out the over posed Jolie when I had chance.  MIB fired true in succession. MIB 5- JRT 4

Much better use of Verbinski thoughts.  MIB5 – JRT5

Cancer rarely funny. Kirk Douglas on the other hand.  MIB 6 – JRT 5

Props to the tweet of the night from Dan Hopper.

I mean its true right?

I musta gave up on that one.  MIB 7 – JRT 5

I’m giving myself a point for Cotillard and potrait orientation over Exultant and Aussies MIB 7 – JRT 6

I can’t believe I’m not the one who used cunt.  That’s like losing on a balk.  Shameful.  MIB 8 – JRT 6

I think I started passing out right about then and treated Jimmy Kimmel Live like he was actually in my living room which led to me redecorating my living room in valor knowing Oprah was coming over. But the next day I just woke up in a pool of sweat and glitter and no handmade Alaskan S’mores.  You know cause Oprah would have brought them.

OK so its true, I’m not funnier than Michael Ian Black, yet.  And there were at least 3 to 4 more random tweets I liked more than mine.  But eating my vitamins, saying my prayers and doing my comedy pushups.  Cause its only 6 months til the Emmys.  And whatcha gonna do when my 14 inch pythons come down on you.

Probably nothing. I haven’t been in a real fight since 7th grade.

*this was all moot the second fellow State alum Michael Showalter started live tweeting MIB’s tweets.  So really I lost twice.