Ambitious Mediocrity

About 5 years too late to be relevent!!

Category: RIPs and Birthdays

Happy 68th Martin Campbell. Now I know why Green Lantern sucked.


Because there’s no way that movie should have been made by someone older than my Mom. I’m sorry. I am a total ageist fuck and Martin Campbell has shown a cruise ship full of talent during his 40 years of directing including two of my favorite recent Bond movies Golden Eye and Casino Royale but Green Lantern, as well as alllll comic book movies are a younger geekier man’s game. (see Whedon, Joss) To be played by Nathan Fillion of course, not this:

and to be directed by apparently anyone else. Like:

5. Rian Johnson (I did Looper)
4. The Wachowskis (But we blew whatever cache we had left making Cloud Atlas)
3. Duncan Jones (cool win)
2. Neil Blomkamp! (Triple cool effects Win)
1. Gareth Edwards (he’s already rockin a really exciting reboot too)

But I will totally watch when you direct Idris Elba’s first bond film.

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Game of life claims Alex Karras.

Alex Karras died today.  Sports fans know him as a Hall of Fame Detroit Lion, black midget fans know him as Webster’s Dad, but I will remember him for delivering one of the greatest lines in movie history. (which according to Mel Brooks it was written by Richard Pryor)

RIP

World’s Colliding! Patrick Stewart on Sesame Street saying Number one to an audience of 3 years old thats just want the old guy to leave.

Unfortunately, Jerry Nelson, the puppeteer who voiced the purple, number-OCD’d vampire Count von Count on “Sesame Street,” has died at 78. His “ah ah ahhhhhhh” will always be my daughter’s first impression.  Best part is this guy could totally have passed for a vampire himself.

So all the sudden, and much to my daughter’s glee, youtube is flooded with Count Von Count clips and in the Seasame tradition of getting celebrities to do things that would normally be fodder for Funny or Die, Patrick Stewart came on to reprimand the Number One. Read the rest of this entry »

BREAKDANCE!!! It’s Pee-Wee’s 6-0 BD.

This is what is like to wake up today people!

or

(Yes Mark Mothersbaugh stole from himself when making the Yo Gabba Gabba theme.)

Happy 60th Birthday to actor/comedian/convict/personal hero to Paul Rubenfeld/Paul Reubens/Pee-Wee Herman. Let us all get our bike stolen, wear white shoes and down tequila.

Read the rest of this entry »

Things I Found Out About My Birthday via Wikipedia.

I am August 7th internet sexy.

A) Lots of terrible things happened on my birthday.

Well it’s Assyrian Martyr’s day, there was a failed Ming Dynasty coup which I’m sure ended in beheadings, the last confirmed lynching in North America, The Simele massacre, Holocaust something something, embassy bombings and worst of all Barry Bonds hits 756 and ruins the national pastime.  August 7th is not for the weak.

B) Mike Trout turned 21 today.

Sooooo yeah.  I thought there was nothing worse than having Tom Brady be born 4 days before me.  But having a true baseball phenom that was 3 when I was a senior in high school. Well he’s a jerk.

C) Happy Independence Ivory Coast.

I’m sure that’s working out for you.

D) Marvin Hamlish died.

Actually that happened today and I found out on NBC.  But still. I saw him lead a rendition of Strings on Fire that stays with me til this day.

E) Also share a birthday with Wikipedia beggar Jimmy Wales.

I should bring that up when I try to get myself added on the August 7th list next year.  And THEN I will donate.

Happy Birthday Dennis Duffy!

I would be remiss if I didnt give a Happy 48th to Liz Lemon love, AllState pitchman and terrible first season SVU actor (Ice-T acting upgrade) Dean Winters.  Since NBC are a bunch of youtube Nazis here’s some written wisdom from the beeper king.

They should call this The Weeks.

I could get any girl I want and not just the fatties and the butterfaces.

We’re like Ross and Rachel, but just not gay…

[Reading from a letter] Dear Liz Lemon: While other women have bigger boobs than you, no other woman has as big a heart. When I saw you getting ready to go out and get nailed by a bunch of guys last night, I knew for sure it was over between us, and for the first time since the ‘86 World Series, I cried… I cried like a big, dumb homo. And if it was up to me, we’d be together forever. But there’s a new thing called “women’s liberation,” which gives you women the right to choose and you have chosen to abort me, and that I must live with. So tonight, when you arrive home, I’ll be gone. I officially renounce my squatter’s rights. I’ll always love you. Goodbye and good luck. I’ll never forget you.

I knew that girl was eighteen. She told me that her last boyfriend was Asian, and that crap doesn’t start until college.

Technology is cyclical.

Actually, my beeper doesn’t have a camera. But it does have a pedometer. Actually, not this one.

 

 

RIP BestWeekEver.tv 200something-2012

i was too lazy to photoshop this on a gravestone. So just imagine.

 

Back before the internet was already a parody of itself and every pop culture reference was mash up into another, hell before we had gifwalls, we had bestweekever.tv, and after today we won’t.

Something has to be said for a website that outlived its parent TV show by 3 years and I honestly can’t do that said something better than the saying BWE senior editor Dan Hopper, one of, if not the best pop culture writer on the nets, has already said. At the height of my first serious unemployment stint, BWE.tv became my first bookmark (on INTERNET EXPLORER no less).  I think every pop culture website, including this one, has to owe something to one of the finest compiling tools there was for internet crap in the galaxy.

But I guess that’s what mean ol’ reddit’s for now.

Personal Hero, Richard Dawson, Dead at 79

Today Hogan Hero,  Family Feud (when it was cool) host and Running Man Nemesis Richard Dawson finally lost his battle with cancer. (What a week.)

Now I know most of you remember the Richard as the tuxed out bad ass kissing machine from the Family Feud and until about 10 years ago I would have agreed with you and then, for one glorious summer, I had a the Game Show Network and with it marathon upon marathon of Match Game.  And while Gene Rayburn ran the show it was Richard Dawson (more turtlenecks and plaid then tux in those days) who anchored the show with his suave wit and obvious disdain for the gay panelists.  So here are just about every decent clip I could find of RD doing what RD does: breaking the rules, hitting on girls and telling jokes you know he’d rather have dirty endings to.

Read the rest of this entry »